I finally know the real handicap I have: I can not be happy if I am not independent. Independent of all unnecessary relationships with people you are naturally connected. Independent from the aura of people and aura of places distorted by ordinary people. I love my family and their presence gives me the power to continue but I need to feel that my life is my choice and I am on my own feet to experience true peace. My mom is here, this is wonderful, still I realize so much of her love is a threat to my independence. I was unhappy in all those times there was somebody nearby pulling me towards themselves.
April 1st 2012
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