May 28 after May 27 2012

Is it okay to be so confused? I have had an emotionally exhausting graduation week. Traveling between two cities, being forced to behave my family in the way they want, meeting new people, getting to know them and then saying good bye. I feel so tired that finally I am slightly scared. I know that I will be much stronger by the moment I finish this post because it always helps to put your confusion in words. It helps you to think and find a solution. I am aware that there is a solution but in the presence of so much stimuli the state of being confused dominates everything else. Last night I was feeling my self to sleep, meaning that I had let all the emotions and fears conquer my brain while my body was tired and my brain was numb and out of my control as if everything was turning into a dream. That moment I did not want to be alone in a different continent, I knew that there was a danger of not being able to get what you want but just lose and lose more. Although I like the subject I am not passionate about being a mathematician and what am I good for if I will not give them my brain which is educated in such a technical subject? If I can finally rest and forget my graduation day I will be back in track and fine.